I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
