were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Randomize
