i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
