it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
