I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Randomize
