I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
