you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
