Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(207): View more from Maine

there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?

(412): View more from Pennsylvania

I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?

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(203): View more from Connecticut

He told me they were just razor bumps!

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend

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23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
Read it at the TFLN blog
(860): View more from Connecticut

There is too much vodka and too much dick.

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(404): View more from Georgia

Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby

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(213): View more from California

your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.

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(813): View more from Florida

It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.

(315): View more from New York

That's the best compliment I have ever received.

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(414): View more from Wisconsin

i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school

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