there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school