singing on the bus should be illegal
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
These 21 People Shouldn’t Be Giving Dating Advice
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.