Texts From Last Night

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  (516): View more from New York

  Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.

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  (516): Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style. http://tfl.nu/uxcc
  Replies (60) Good night (8405) Bad night (1781)
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  (760): View more from California

  What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?

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  (760): What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch? http://tfl.nu/c2lm
  Replies (30) Good night (5391) Bad night (808)
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now

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  (306): We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now http://tfl.nu/pjjq
  Replies (23) Good night (3856) Bad night (793)
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  (510): View more from California

  I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.

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  (510): I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK. http://tfl.nu/4l82
  Replies (23) Good night (5283) Bad night (1141)
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  (516): View more from New York

  My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say

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  (516): My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say http://tfl.nu/znzu
  Replies (32) Good night (1924) Bad night (5240)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.

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  (201): just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit. http://tfl.nu/jcis
  Replies (16) Good night (4891) Bad night (1676)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  I was the one passing out cake at the bars

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  (720): I was the one passing out cake at the bars http://tfl.nu/ucfe
  Replies (4) Good night (2393) Bad night (802)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.

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  (704): I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it. http://tfl.nu/goy6
  Replies (13) Good night (4299) Bad night (1389)
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  (928): View more from Arizona

  I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.

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  (928): I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on. http://tfl.nu/43cf
  Replies (5) Good night (1410) Bad night (575)
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct

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  (616): I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct http://tfl.nu/hig4
  Replies (4) Good night (1032) Bad night (463)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried

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  (540): Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried http://tfl.nu/qg5l
  Replies (2) Good night (809) Bad night (434)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.

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  (603): trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment. (603): naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS. http://tfl.nu/yhfs
  Replies (5) Good night (1944) Bad night (378)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.

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  (781): I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks. http://tfl.nu/y7p2
  Replies (0) Good night (517) Bad night (322)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container

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  (850): My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container http://tfl.nu/jd1a
  Replies (10) Good night (672) Bad night (381)
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  (308): View more from Nebraska

  First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.

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  (308): First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress. http://tfl.nu/t184
  Replies (2) Good night (696) Bad night (266)

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