Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(301): View more from Maryland

White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.

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(301): White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss. http://tfl.nu/246p

Replies (5) Good night (714) Bad night (1387)
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(413): View more from Massachusetts

that girl last night was a 15

(1-413): View more from Massachusetts

wait she was 15?

(413): View more from Massachusetts

no like black jack not sure if you should hit it

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(413): that girl last night was a 15 (1-413): wait she was 15? (413): no like black jack not sure if you should hit it http://tfl.nu/qny1

Replies (52) Good night (4232) Bad night (959)
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(305): View more from Florida

so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator

(954): View more from Florida

you didnt stop her?

(305): View more from Florida

too entertaining

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(305): so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator (954): you didnt stop her? (305): too entertaining http://tfl.nu/7hz6

Replies (49) Good night (4775) Bad night (620)
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(256): View more from Alabama

There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.

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(256): There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it. http://tfl.nu/68k2

Replies (17) Good night (817) Bad night (3189)
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(503): View more from Oregon

And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....

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(503): And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container.... http://tfl.nu/xfht

Replies (16) Good night (1602) Bad night (3330)
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(212): View more from New York

My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.

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(212): My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing. http://tfl.nu/8vqg

Replies (3) Good night (2840) Bad night (941)
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(586): View more from Michigan

We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.

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(586): We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds. http://tfl.nu/hj47

Replies (9) Good night (1844) Bad night (1230)
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(773): View more from Illinois

Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.

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(773): Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you. http://tfl.nu/9snq

Replies (11) Good night (636) Bad night (1076)
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(760): View more from California

I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart

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(760): I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart http://tfl.nu/0amr

Replies (7) Good night (978) Bad night (472)
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(845): View more from New York

You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital

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(845): You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital http://tfl.nu/w35x

Replies (7) Good night (769) Bad night (449)
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(315): View more from New York

WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.

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(315): WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF. http://tfl.nu/3w9f

Replies (12) Good night (1484) Bad night (368)
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(315): View more from New York

Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?

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(315): Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er? http://tfl.nu/auy8

Replies (6) Good night (659) Bad night (612)
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(904): View more from Florida

Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.

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(904): Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place. http://tfl.nu/0o2l

Replies (2) Good night (457) Bad night (242)
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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.

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(+44): The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar. http://tfl.nu/70b2

Replies (6) Good night (285) Bad night (991)
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(519): View more from Ontario

I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.

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(519): I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED. http://tfl.nu/y580

Replies (1) Good night (562) Bad night (245)

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