what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me