i already hear my dad disowning me
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Randomize
