holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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