it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
