the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
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