Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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