I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
