I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
