I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
