if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
