There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
