so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Randomize
