also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
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through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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