Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
