also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
it's like heaven, but drunker
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
