Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Congratulations! We have a period
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
