A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
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She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
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And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
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