there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
