I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I think my moral compass just broke
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
