her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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