One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
