We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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