I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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