This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
