he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
