A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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