Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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