; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
