1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
