I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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