Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
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