school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
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