I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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