I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
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