just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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