Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
