shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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