I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
