is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
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