He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I need to calm my uterus...
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
