p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize
