This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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