we have pet lesbian snakes
Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Floor bacon is actually really good
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