We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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