Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
