dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
So much rum. So many feels.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
