If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
