whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize