Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Randomize
