You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
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