She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
