okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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