I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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