what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
