Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
that's an acceptable place to lick
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
