He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
