so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
