new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
