Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
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