i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
