a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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