RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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