let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
