He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
